23 October 2009

Srsly-WTF: Commercials that Need to Kill Themselves Already.

It's already bad enough that I have to sit through 5 minutes of commercials at a time...

But honestly, do I really need to sit through all the stupid shit thrown at me? I could easily walk away and pre-occupy myself with something more entertaining, like putting my head into a stove, but when my ass is parked in front of the tv watching sports, I'm harder to pull away from it then Ted Nugent at a slaughterhouse.

1. Those Coors Light commercials with the coaches need to fucking end. It wasn't funny the first time it came out 3 years ago and I understand those terrible "normal dude" actors need to eat, but srsly, die already. Just show those guys getting some decent ass on tv, thanks to Coors Light...and I'd be willing to buy your shit beer... maybe.

2. Anything Taco Bell. ANYTHING. Sure, they cater to the obese and socially awkward with there "4th Meal" plan, and I'm sure that gets some fat fuck hard at 1 am while flipping through channels, but that's not appealing to normal people. Black tacos? No one likes Black People, JK...no srsly....no one likes black people.





3. When the fuck was the last time that Jim Breuer was relevant?? Right? No one knows. I was gonna quote my buddy Albert, but I couldn't find his Tweet about him. Regardless, who the hell is the genius that smoked cracked and during a marketing meeting thought, "Hey...you know who would be good at selling pizza? Jim Fuckin' Breuer". And to add to his appeal, why not stick an annoying as fuck one line catch phrase on his ass, "JACKPOT"! I'm sure the mere mention of POT should have some sticking power in the minds of older people who remember him from Half Baked, but now a days, that's not relevant. Get a real smoking legend of today's time, like my friend Ervin.



He wasn't dressed up for Halloween, this was sometime Mid January. That's how blazed he was. 

I'm sure there are plenty of commercials I'm missing, but I'm still pissed about Jim Breuer. Fuck, I hate that guy.




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