12 January 2010

Srsly-WTF: Real-ality TV....uh....

First and foremost...I don't consider myself to be an aficionado when it comes to outstanding TV choices....





But, srsly??? Do TV Execs believe that there are that many dumb fucking people to believe that these shows are NOT scripted? Sure, I think you'd like to believe that Heidi & Spencer just conveniently walk into the same fucking club as Lauren, EVERY FUCKING NIGHT...assuming she won't be there. They don't live in Plungerville, Iowa, where there is one barn that every college-aged kid can walk in, grab a beer and swap spit with their cousin(s). Hell, why don't they have a show about hicks and their way of life..?





VH1 Presents: Jimbo & DooDan: In-B-Ready for Love. 



THIS IS NOT REALITY. People WILL act differently when cameras are around, even people not in the shot that just happen to be in the vicinity of a show being filmed. Don't you think a fuck load of people would want to go try to hang out with the cast of the Real World, if they were hanging out at a bar? You never see that shit.












No relevance to this blog, I just really hate this guy.






Man vs. Wild fucked this up for me. Two entertaining things: a guy drinking his own urine, check; squeezing fluids out of feces to stay hydrated, check. But to tell me that this fucker can't stay outside during the night and sometimes lodges in the confines of a comfy, nearby Holiday Inn... you son of a bitch, how dare you? I've seen this before...it was called "2 Girls 1 Cup". At least those sick sluts were naked. As far as survival skills, it was an entertaining way of thinking of how to prolong/quickly end my life, if my plane wrecked whenever I take that trip to the Andes mountains that  I had been saving up for, but it lost its gusto when I discovered he was in the comfort of silk sheets w/ free continental breakfast, to survive.

NEVER, EVER in a million years would I feel the need to eat rotting feces stuffed inside a 2-month-old beaver corpse to survive...but some people might find that appealing, I guess...






I'm looking at you, Luke Wilson...









"Luke Wilson only signed on to do the AT&T commercials 'cause he thought Blackberries were edible." - Gary Busey






Any show w/ a "C" list celebrity trying to find love: NOT GONNA HAPPEN! EVER. Stop watching this shit. The only thing that this is good for are for the "celebrities" themselves, to try to get as much beaten-up, overused pussy as they can; the slutty bitches doing slutty shit, to try to land their own god-awful show; and Dr. Drew, because he will get the trickled-down pussy from Ray J, Bret Michaels & Flavor Flav to try to prove to the world that he is NOT gay.























    ???













Just sayin'.








Reality TV is nothing but a money-making machine that tries to capitalize on cheap, wannabe actors that want their 15 minutes. It's entertaining, don't get me wrong, but to believe that it's more realistic than say....professional wrestling, you'd have to be fucking retarded. It's one in the fucking same. "Uh...wrestling has nothing but muscle-bound, over-tanned douche bags, beating down each other" - Yep, isn't that the same premise as the Jersey Shore?













The true Fist Pump Champion....of theeeee WORLD.








and yes.....he banged Snooki.