08 December 2009

Srsly-WTF: Shit That Should Not Be on ESPN.

There are a billion sports in the world...actual sports...

So I don't get when ESPN, my beloved ESPN, decides to waste my life with programs that require ZERO athletic ability from it's participants. Much less have 4 or 5 shows dedicated to this crap!

ANYTHING NASCAR/AUTO RACING/VEHICLES: There is nothing sadder than any person actually considering this as an actual sport. Much less, any person willing to pay hundreds of dollars to go to the track, sit for 4 hours, stare at 30 cars, doing the same thing...over and over again. "Yeah, but it's exciting because of the crashes." Well if you like shit like that, go hang out with Tiger, Moesha or any asian woman.

I suppose stupid concepts appeal to the stupid, inbred people.



If for some reason, you get a NASCAR leather jacket from me for Christmas, that means I really hate you and consider you a waste of life.






POKER: Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy gambling. I just don't need to sit and watch douchebags playing for 2 hours. On the other hand, dogs playing poker.... that totally rules.




Fuckin' cheating bulldog is hiding a card!!! Michael Vick doesn't like cheaters.

Finally, Lou Holtz should not be on ANY TV anymore. Lou, who are you trying to fool with your colored hair, dentures, saggy zombie-esque skin and radioactive colored tan. I'm sure he is a fantastic great, great, great, great, great, great grandpa, but man...HDTV is no friend to Lou.

I can't look at him without thinking he is about to die. I don't want to listen to him because he has more saliva in his mouth than Sylvester the Cat. Blah, anyone that can say that they are almost 2 centuries old shouldn't be on television. If I want your insight Lou, I'll ask you how Moses was and why Cane was such a dick to his brother. I'll ask about Pangaea and how long it took you to travel continents once the great split occurred.

And I say this with the utmost respect to Lou Holtz, I just have more respect for my eyes.










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